After graduation Mary Anne went out
Lookin' for a bright new world
Wanda looked all around this town
And all she found was Earl

Well it wasn't two weeks after she got married
That Wanda started getting abused
She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses
And make-up to cover a bruise

Well she finally got the nerve to file for divorce
She let the law take it from there
But Earl walked right through that restraining order
And put her in intensive care

Right away Mary Anne flew in from Atlanta
On a red eye midnight flight
She held Wanda's hand as they worked out a plan
And it didn't take 'em long to decide
That Earl had to die

Goodbye Earl
Those black-eyed peas
They tasted all right to me Earl
You feelin' weak?
Why don't you lay down and sleep, Earl?
Ain't it dark
Wrapped up in that tarp, Earl?

The cops came by to bring Earl in
They searched the house high and low
Then they tipped their hats and said,
"Thank you ladies-
if you hear from him let us know"

Well the weeks went by
And spring turned to summer
And summer faded into fall
And it turns out he was a missing person
Who nobody missed at all

So the girls bought some land and a roadside stand
Out on Highway 109
They sell Tennessee ham and strawberry jam
And they don't lose any sleep at night
'Cause Earl had to die

Goodbye Earl
-We need a break-
Let's go out to the lake, Earl
We'll pack a lunch
And stuff you in the trunk, Earl
Well is that all right? Good!
Let's go for a ride, Earl.... HEY!

written by Dennis Linde